So Archer is a pretty decent sleeper. I have trouble saying that because 1) I feel like I may be jinxing myself and 2) I know there are so many people out there struggling in tortuous ways with their kids' sleeping patterns. I don't mean to make anyone feel bad about their own situation, but I do need to start with that background to continue with the rest of the post. I thank my lucky stars every single day that I have a little guy who seems to have an easy time falling asleep and staying that way.
That doesn't mean that everything is perfect. Or that every night is perfect. We have a strong bedtime routine that has created a place where Archer generally falls asleep without too much fuss when we put him in his crib at night.
However, last night was an exception. Though he seemed tired, Archer was not happy about being put to bed. After trying to follow the advice of a sleep training book, and much picking up and putting back down, we had an overtired and very worked up baby 2 hours past his bedtime. (You know that thing where you have stopped crying after an epic cry and your breath keeps catching as you try to breathe in? Yeah. That.) At that point I nursed him again and he was out in 5 minutes. Clearly he was ready to sleep - just not the way that we were trying to make him.
I had confidence that I was doing the 'right thing' at the beginning. By the end, I questioned every move my husband and I made through the night. I feared putting Archer to bed tonight in case it repeated itself. Confidence? Out the window.
If I had never read that sleep training book, what would I have done? Well, I probably would have gone in, settled him down, not worried about whether or not he knows how to put himself to sleep, and taken my time before putting him back down as a calm and tired baby. If I have confidence that my son does know how to fall asleep (which I do), then why should I worry about 'training' him on nights when he needs some extra comfort? But maybe my natural efforts would have been the same deal. I don't know for sure that they would have been more successful.
What I do know is that kids are little buggers who are unpredictable. For yourself and your kid, you need them to sleep. You want to do the 'right thing' for them. But if one night of a bad sleep experience can steal one's confidence, what does a couple of weeks do? Or months? Or even years?You feel so powerless to affect change on this minion who's running your life. Bedtime becomes something that you fear, and I imagine doesn't feel too happy for the kid, either.
People follow their instincts. People try strategies from books. When none of it works, there is very little confidence left to move forward with. Bedtime becomes filled with an undertone of panic and hopelessness.
But let's just agree on one thing: let's not blame our parenting skills. Let's just blame those crazy little humans. Someday they will learn to sleep. Then they will be teenagers and sleep all the time and we can finally catch up.
In the meantime, you are doing a great job. You are doing the very best you can. I am doing a great job. I am doing the best I can.
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