Mommyhood's Third Law of Emotion

Everything with motherhood seems to come in opposites. Besides all the crazy hormones working themselves out, it's easy to see why new moms can be a bit unpredictable.

Most every strong feeling I have has an equal and opposite reaction. I feel sorry for my husband some days. For instance:

• All I want is some time to myself. But also, the thought of time to myself leaves me with a pang of emptiness that I won't be with Archer, and I suddenly don't want the 'me' time to be too long. 
• I long for the days when going out with friends was simple and easy, but I would never want our lives to be without Archer. 
• Every time Archer 'levels up', I am so proud of him. But also, I'm so sad that he's changing and growing so quickly. 
• I am excited to be back at work someday where I can stretch my brain muscles again. But my heart aches a bit at not being able to be next to Archer all day long.

I could probably go on with these for a page and a half or so. There is no emotion that is clear and easily discernible. Each one is clouded by its opposite.

Why on earth is motherhood this way? I think that it's your old feelings and views of the world vs. your new ones as a mom trying to work out a new balance in your life. But the new mom perspectives don't stem from emotion, as much as from instinct. I mean, the need to not leave my baby is something more basic than an emotion; more overpowering.

So it all boils down to the fact that new moms (well, at least me, anyway) are re-calibrating their brains to the world. In modern times, how do we learn to juggle our emotions and identities when we are competing with instinct?

Everybody does, but it's a strange place to be right now...